Since becoming a mom to a little girl, my priorities and perspective have changed dramatically. Now, I not only consider my daughter in every decision I make, but I also aim to raise her to be a confident, happy, and self-assured force to be reckoned with when she is a woman one day.
Working with numerous individuals who struggle with low self-esteem, eating disorders, and appearance preoccupation daily has led me to think deeply about prevention. I often ponder how my parenting style, our family’s focus, and even my own self-esteem play a role in shaping my daughter’s self-perception. This blog post serves to unpack elements that might be helpful to you on this journey.
What It Is
Maternal Mental Health: This encompasses the emotional, psychological, and social well-being of mothers. It includes everyday stress, anxiety, and more serious mental health conditions like depression.
Child Self-Esteem: This is the perception a child has of their own worth and abilities. It’s a critical aspect of their emotional development, influencing their confidence, behaviour, and overall well-being.
Why It Is Important
Numerous studies highlight the connection between maternal mental health and child self-esteem. Children of mothers with good mental health tend to have higher self-esteem compared to those whose mothers suffer from mental health issues. This relationship is crucial for several reasons:
- Modelling Behaviour: Children learn by observing their parents. A mother who demonstrates healthy emotional coping mechanisms provides a positive role model for her child.
- Emotional Availability: Mothers with good mental health are more likely to be emotionally available and responsive to their children’s needs, fostering a secure attachment and positive self-image in their children.
- Positive Parenting: Good maternal mental health is associated with positive parenting practices such as consistent discipline, warmth, and nurturing, which contribute to a child’s self-esteem and emotional well-being.
What to Do Differently
Here are some practical tips and suggestions for moms to support both their mental health and their child’s self-esteem:
- Prioritize Self-Care:
- Schedule Regular Breaks: Take time out for yourself, even if it’s just a few minutes a day. Read a book, take a walk, or practice mindfulness.
- Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to ask for help from family, friends, or a mental health professional if you’re feeling overwhelmed.
- Practice Positive Reinforcement:
- Encourage and Praise: Acknowledge your child’s efforts and achievements, no matter how small. This helps build their self-esteem.
- Be Specific: Instead of general praise, be specific about what they did well. For example, “I’m so proud of how you shared your toys with your friend today.”
- Embrace Positive Parenting:
- Stay Calm and Connected: During challenging moments, try to stay calm and connect with your child emotionally. Books like No-Drama Discipline by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson offer great strategies for this.
- Set Clear Boundaries: Consistent and fair boundaries help children feel secure and understand expectations, which is crucial for their self-esteem.
- Nurture Emotional Intelligence:
- Teach Emotional Regulation: Help your child recognize and manage their emotions. Books like Good Inside by Becky Kennedy can provide helpful guidance.
- Validate Feelings: Acknowledge your child’s feelings without judgment. Let them know it’s okay to feel sad, angry, or frustrated and teach them healthy ways to express these emotions.
- Create a Supportive Environment:
- Open Communication: Foster an environment where your child feels safe to express themselves. Regularly check in with them about their feelings and experiences.
- Quality Time: Spend quality time together doing activities your child enjoys. This strengthens your bond and makes your child feel valued and loved.
Steps for Adults to Heal and Enhance Self-Esteem
If you find yourself struggling with low self-esteem as an adult, it’s important to remember that it is never too late to heal and improve your self-perception. Start by practicing self-compassion and acknowledging that everyone has worth and value, including you. Engage in positive self-talk by challenging and reframing negative thoughts about yourself. Surround yourself with supportive and positive people who uplift and encourage you. Set small, achievable goals to build confidence and recognize your accomplishments, no matter how minor they may seem.
Consider seeking the help of a therapist or counsellor who can guide you through strategies tailored to your specific needs. Books like The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown or Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff can also provide valuable insights and exercises to foster self-love and acceptance. Remember, improving self-esteem is a journey, and taking these steps can set you on the path toward a more positive and fulfilling self-image.
Remember, your mental health is not just about you; it’s about creating a positive and nurturing environment for your child. By taking care of yourself and adopting positive parenting practices, you can significantly boost your child’s self-esteem and set them on a path to emotional well-being and resilience. Embrace the journey of motherhood with compassion for yourself and your child, and remember that taking care of your mental health is one of the best gifts you can give to your child.
I’m still on the journey of unpacking and discovering this, so please do not see this blog post as the end, but rather as part of an ongoing exploration.